Spend more time on your coffee than your life? I have friends who drive a few hours every few months to buy and stock up on a specific blend of coffee. If they can’t make the drive, they pay to have it shipped. But ask these guys what their personal goals are for the year, and they get all fidgety. Must be the caffeine. But seriously, if you focus more on your cup of Joe than you do fulfillment, you’ll have mornings filled with yummy coffee and not much else. The truth is, that having a delicious life is less about having some perfect, mystical balance. It’s all about the blend.
If you are a coffee connoisseur (addict) like me, you probably spend some time gazing at coffee brands online, in the market and coffee houses considering all of the flavors and options. Caffeinated or Decaf? (Ok. That was a little joke. I never consider Decaf.) Whole bean or ground? Mild or bold roast? Organic and free trade? The choices and detail that go into selecting a delicious blend of coffee are plenty. But all too often, when it comes to our own lives, we stick with the same old Maxwell House, because it’s what we know and “it was good enough for my parents.”
Many times when I ask clients what they want, they aren’t really sure. They just know that their current result is not quite what they ordered. Whether it’s carrying extra weight, withering in a career that feels all wrong, or spinning to try and make their business take off, there is something in the blend that tastes funny.
Personally, I’ve abandoned the silly notion that I need balance. I’m actually happiest when I consider the blend of my life instead of trying to compartmentalize and make everything “even Steven.” To create the unique blend for your life, ask yourself the following questions:
1. How would I like my life to be different? Look at what your life result is right now. How does this differ from what you really want? Get specific. Is it to lose 25 pounds? Make more money? Have a job that is fun?
2. Why do I want this? This is truly an important question. Sometimes we think we want something, but when we ask ourselves “Why?” we discover we only wanted it because it sounded good, or to please a spouse, etc. The motivation behind your goal is as important as the goal itself. You will have a much harder time creating a result that is not in line with your soul.
3. What am I telling myself about why I do not have this already? Just for today, be a scientist of yourself and observe without judgment the dialog going on in your head. What’s the chatter about? Is it kind? It really is true that “what you think about, you bring about.” If you tell yourself that you are dumb, lazy and stuck in a rut, that’s what you’ll get more of…every time.
4. What can I think and do to create the life blend that I want? This is they money shot right here. Tiny example: I want to finish writing a book. The thought right now that I believe and feels good is, “Show up on the page for fifteen minutes.” I can hang with fifteen minutes. Sure! That motivates me to write during small pockets of time. Not a fancy affirmation….just a tiny pivot in my thinking toward what I want.
When I wake up, I ask myself, “What’s the Susan Blend today?” Always caffeinated, usually bold and strong, and always, always delicious to me. What’s your blend?
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