ideal: I Choose Innovate Over Replicate

"So, you want me to change my thoughts and think that it is OK for my psycho boss to treat me like dirt?"

I get comments like this all the time from clients who are brand new to thought work. Changing your thoughts does not mean that you become a wimp. It does not mean that you trick yourself into believing that a negative circumstance is all peachy and fresh as summer sunshine. It means that you do not BECOME the negative situation, as my mentor Brooke Castillo would say.

A personal example...

Last night I was surfing the Internet. I found a program called Copyscape. For free, it allows you to enter your web site address into a search window, and it will scrub the net and report back to you within seconds if content from your web site is used other places. So I did it. Guess what? A coach in Chicago, who is on my mailing list, is using my new web site content, word for word. I am not talking just a few paragraphs here. Almost her entire web site, her "about me" section, her coaching programs, all of it (except for a few references to cake) is my writing. With her photo.

My short freak out included thoughts like:

She is stealing my hard work.
This is not right.
What a slimy weasel (no offense to Ryan and Emily's new pet ferrets).
I can't believe this.
How DARE she!
Oh no she di'int! (Clearly, she did.)

Would most of you agree that plagiarism is not right? Sure. I've got a thread on Facebook to prove it. But, I knew if I wanted to feel better, I needed to get to work and replace these thoughts that felt extremely icky.

Thanks to my pal Jackie Gartman, this is what I came up with:

No one can steal my work. Not really.
My web site copy is just a compilation of words. My real work is my truth, my energy and my light. That comes from within and backs up what I say on my site.

And, thanks to my new Facebook and Twitter friend Patti Digh--who had her writing plagiarized on the net and wrote a beautiful article about it--I remembered that being authentic, and being yourself is its own reward. It must not feel very good to need to use someone else's work as your own.

Now, I am sure you are wondering what is next. What am I going to "do" about it. This is where is gets good. Because I have cleaned up my thoughts, I can now take action from a very calm and peaceful place. I can stand up for myself in an organized and powerful way now that my thinking is not clouded with ick. It feels good to take action from a clean place.

What can you do when something negative happens?

What you are thinking about the situation?
Does it feel good or bad? Write down the thoughts that feel bad.
Notice how you feel when you think them. There is no up side EVER to feeling bad. There is no award for being a victim or martyr. Haven't you noticed?
What can you think instead that you BELIEVE and that also FEELS BETTER?
Rinse and repeat.

I love the Byron Katie question, "Who would you be without that thought?"

I choose to continue to innovate, and not replicate.

Rock on, people!

5 Comments

It is nuts that I found your blog. Someone posted a link on FB and I followed it here right after I had the same experience (or similar).

A family member is in an abusive marriage and it escalated tonight. She's burned me several times in the past so I keep my distance and this new "drama" left me thinking "what now?" And went through all my thoughts/feelings and when that was done, I was actually able to come up with a temporary solution. I'm moving out of my place in a month, I can move early and give her and her kids my secure place so the have a break from the husband for a couple of weeks. Everyone jumped on board except for her, but that's okay, at least she knows the option is there. I can't believe it was so easy to change direction!

Great post!

Posted by: Kimberly Gauthier | October 01, 2009 at 12:56 AM